Some time ago, I was sitting in my favorite chair on a
Sunday evening indulging in my only vice, watching a golf game. The sedating tones of the announcer and
quietness of the game usually puts me to sleep.
However, I was awake during the last half. An intense battle was being waged between a
Korean guy and another golfer I happened to like. I never liked the Korean golfer. He had a menacing stare that the networks
always played up, presenting him as fierce and ruthless. I reasoned that he must be into some eastern
religion and I did not want him to win.
However, he won in a breathtaking finish. During the interview on the fringe of the 18th
green, with the first words he spoke, he gave the glory to his Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ. I was stunned. I was also ashamed that I had judged him by
how he looked and by what other people had said about him. Later I discovered that he not only tithed
his winnings to his church, but he gave large sums to worthy causes. People who know him personally testify that
he is a genuinely nice individual.
I had to repent and ask God to forgive me for my sin. Sin?
Yes, it is a sin to judge falsely someone. I should have known better because I have
been falsely judged many times and continue to live under false judgment. False judgment is one of the hazards of my
calling. God called me to present
truth. I understood from the very
beginning of my ministry that truth was the most important element in
faith. It never occurred to me that I
would encounter volatile opposition to truth by professing Christians. The first time I experienced rejection I
though it was a fluke. In fact, I
endured harsh rejection for several years before I realized that the majority
of professing Christians are very selective about the measure and category of
truth that they will accept. I was
counseled by leaders in my denomination, and elder ministers, to completely
avoid certain topics. They also laid out
a method of leadership and referred me to books that would help me be a
successful pastor or evangelist. I
considered what they told me and partially read some of the books. When I realized that they wanted me to be a
public relations expert, someone who could speak in such a way as not to offend
anyone, I rejected their advice.
It is not because I wish to be confrontational. In fact, I dread confrontation and honestly
try to avoid it as much as possible.
Through the years I have worked diligently to speak more calmly and keep
my heart free from any animosity or judgmentalism. However, it does not matter how lovingly one
speaks truth, some people will still become offended. There is no way to know beforehand how they
will respond when they are offended.
Some of them simply leave the building and never return. On Facebook or other social media, they can
make one mouse click and I’m history.
But there are a few individuals who will offset the sting of truth and
subsequent conviction by attacking the truth speaker. That reaction has been part of a lifelong
resistance to everything that challenges their well-crafted image of the inner
person. It depends on the individual how
intense the attack and how much damage they may inflict. Of course, it is all about words, but words
are powerful.
People who know how to use the gossip grid and where its
major “doors” are located will cause a lot of damage to the reputations of
people they dislike. Every community,
village, or city has a gossip grid. The
“doors” are the individuals who start slander on its way through a network of
people who are as veins and arteries in the grid. “Doors” begin each day searching for choice
bits of information about significant people or people in their circle of
associates. Most of their information
comes by way of snooping and prying into the nooks and crannies of
society. However, there are diabolical
individuals who use the “doors”. They
know exactly the ones with the most power, who maintain the largest sections of
the grid, and that can speed the slander along better than the lesser
“doors”. There is usually one “door” who
is at the top of the game. Most “doors”
aspire to reach the pinnacle of the gossip grid, but only one stands supreme. He or she—yes men love to gossip—will can
send a bit of information throughout the entire grid in a matter of hours. The chief “door” has influence with both his
or her own grid, but also with a number of other “doors”. Offend someone who knows that “door” and is
willing to use him or her, and you will suffer a tremendous lash of gossip that
will have lasting effect on your reputation.
Decades later, people will still be talking about that time you were
guilty of some reprehensible action that continues to disqualify you for any
respect.
The most frustrating factor about this harsh consequence of
offending someone with truth is that there is no earthly defense against
it. One cannot rise everyday and get
busy trying to stomp out all the gossip fires.
You cannot begin every conversation with, “I’m that guy they are talking
about, but I’m not guilty.” Further, you
cannot take out ads in the local newspaper denying guilt every time you are
slandered. The only thing you can do is
depend on God to defend and exonerate you.
God will certainly defend and exonerate His people, but only to a
certain degree in the temporal realm.
Most people who are locked into the gossip grid will never accept the
truth about you. One reason is because
the falsehoods are so much more enticing to them. Another reason is because admitting a mistake
can weaken their status in the grid and even bring on conviction of sin. Everyone in the grid validates this or her
information by saying or thinking, “It comes from a good source.” Admitting fault is like admitting one is a bad
source and therefore invalidated in the grid.
Why is there a gossip grid anyway and how can it continue to
survive when it hurts so many people? It
exists and survives for the same reason; people want to know about other
people. One reason people want to know
about other people is because they feel better about themselves when someone
else is demoted by news of bad behavior or failure. Another reason is that people feel better
about themselves when they have the power to demote someone who is more
esteemed than themselves. Then there is
the fact that few people will take the time to find out for themselves whether
information is true or false and if the individual is a good or bad person. They only use that type of intimate screening
when it comes to adding a friend to their circle or in deciding to conduct
business or some other activity with someone.
The gossip grid survives in Christianity because most professing
Christians either have discarded the gift of discernment or never activated it.
It takes a current and intimate relationship with God to have clear and proper
discernment.
I have never fared well with the gossip grid because I not
only offend people who regularly use that grid, but I offend the “doors”. In fact, I’m certain that I have offended the
main “door” on occasion. When you speak
truth, you may offend people on both sides of an issue. Thus, not only the “doors” in the secular
faction of the grid are activated, but the religious “doors” are fervently
spreading the latest “news”. On two major
issues in our community I experienced this reaction. People will reason that if you do not agree
with their opinion, then you must obviously be for the opposing opinion. The Pharisees judged the same thing about
Christ. When Christ rebuked them for
their lack of compassion for sinners, they concluded that He was a sinner. Christ was clearly not condoning sin, but
rebuking hypocrisy. The third position
in most conflicts is God’s position.
People can be right and yet also be wrong. Their position may be correct, but their
spirits and the manner in which they present their view may be hypocritical or un-Christlike.
No matter how people react, or to what degree they attack,
one has to settle a question in his or hear heart concerning truth. That question is, “Are you going to obey and
please God or people?” If you choose to
obey and please God, then you must be prepared to endure the consequences. However, there will come a day when you will
rejoice in the benefits. Many
“successful” ministers will stand before God having a record of not offending
people, of growing large congregations, building large buildings, and of having
achieved wonderful social status and denominational promotions and honor. “Successful” professing Christians will stand
before His throne having never “rocked the boat” by speaking or standing for
truth, of always taking the easy path of compromise, and inured themselves to
the popularization of certain sins so as to avoid contention. These individuals will one day face the
consequences of their failure to stand for truth.
God sent His only Son, truth personified, to die for
truth. Millions of martyrs will stand in
heaven as witnesses of how important truth was to them. In fact, every individual who decided that
truth that important to God must be of utmost importance to them will stand as
witnesses. Satan will always hinder
every advance of truth and the ones who present it. But the major quality of truth will prevail
against every work of evil, whether it is a gossip grid or the sword of an
executioner. That major quality is that just
as light always defeats darkness, truth always trumps falsehood. This means you always win when you speak the
truth. All that Satan does with the
gossip grid is attempt to obscure that fact.
Therefore, don’t become disheartened when you stand for
truth and realize you are standing alone, are rejected, or even slandered. What is really occurring is that God is
bringing your ministry to light. Light
always stands out in the darkness and of course defeats it. There is no closed door that God cannot open
and no door that He opens that can be shut by your enemy. When people forsake you because you are a
truth speaker, you will discover new friends and associates who respect
you. Even though your circle of
influence may be smaller, at least you are influencing people with truth rather
than compromise and ambiguity. The only
reputation that counts is the one you forge with God. Everything else are mere distractions or side
attractions.
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