On a recent trip to Oklahoma, we stopped at a restaurant for
lunch. I was observing the people
around me when I noticed an old couple finishing their lunch. The old man
apparently has not eaten his fill, and so he pushed his plate toward his
wife. She was blocked from view by
a booth, but I saw her feeble hand reach out with a sizable dollop of barbeque
on a fork. She placed it on his
plate. He immediately gobbled it
down, picked up the check, hitched up his overalls, and headed to the
cashier. As he passed our table,
he smiled and nodded his head. The
old lady was much slower to rise.
When she came into view, it was apparent that she had been beautiful in
her youth, and was still beautiful in her old age. But she was very feeble. She made her way slowly along, holding onto anything close
by. I was about to get up to help
her, but she mustered the energy to haltingly pass by and into the next room.
I remarked to my wife, “Don’t ever let me do that to
you.” If I do, I hope that she
loudly calls my name and demands that I help her. I assumed that the old man was probably a retired
farmer. He may have not had the
proper teaching or example of respect for women. But I’m not just beating on farmers here. I see this type of disrespect for
womanhood committed by men of all ages and ilk. In fact, you can tell in most cases when a man is attempting
to win a woman’s heart, and when he knows it is won. When they are dating, he is sweet, respectful, and even
gentlemanly. After a short period
of marriage, the relationship is all about him.
What is the problem?
It is a fact that this present world system is designed by men for
men. They consider women to
be here for their pleasure and to do their bidding. It is an immature version of life and it has undesirable
consequences. Let me explain. A woman asked me recently, “Why do men
take women for granted when they know they have you?” I replied within earshot of her husband, “Because they are
not complete men.” I elaborated
that a man does not reach full manhood until he overcomes his boyish
proclivities, and that includes the tendency to treat a wife like a
mother. That is, he loves her, but
takes her for granted. He only
wants a relationship on his terms, and according to his timing and needs. The rest of the time he wants to
play. He expects her to suspend
all that she wishes to do so that she is like a servant, always there when he
wants her to be.
A man who has reached full manhood has a different
view. He considers a woman as his
equal. That does not mean that she
can do all the man-things, or even that she wants to. But she is equal in importance, equally entitled to time,
money, and all the other things important to him. She is equal in God’s eyes and should be honored as a
gift of God. A man should consider
himself blessed to have a woman who pledges to spend the rest of her life with
him. Therefore, he should keep his
vows to her, to love and respect, honor and cherish, in sickness and in health,
and ‘till death do they part. If
he made the vow and didn’t intend to keep it, then he intentionally lied. If he made the vow with good intentions
and is not keeping it, then he is derelict in duty. He should repent and get back to honoring his word. How would he feel if he was
debilitated by an injury, sickness, or old age, and she walked off and left him
in the booth to rise and struggle along by himself?
Of course, a lot of guys may respond with, “But you don’t
know my ole lady. If I give her
that type of treatment, she’ll take advantage of it.” And do what?
Turn you into a midget?
Maybe you should rejoice that she is taking advantage of your loving and
caring actions. It means that she
is beginning to be comfortable in being your wife. Besides, it all balances out if love rules. However, the imbalance of treating a
wife like a servant cause harm to the next generation. That is because Dads teach their sons
to be abusers and their daughters to marry abusers. Of course, I consider disrespect to be abuse.
There is also the damage to society as a whole. Today we have men who may live their
entire lives never fully reaching manhood. They are focused on competition, games, and every other source
of pleasure and fun. However, they
pay little attention to nurturing wives and children. The result is a lack of real men as leaders. Instead, we see men who immature and
effeminate, men who are more like women than men. Further, more women seem to be attracted to effeminate men.
I am not ashamed of being a man. I refuse to wax the hair from my body, wear earrings and
girly clothing. I do my best to
treat my wife each day as if she is important to me. I’m not a perfect man, but
when I realize I have failed to treat her with the highest regard, I repent and
change. I plan to grow old with
her. We are getting older, but I
see the wrinkles and other signs of old age as reminders of the investment that
a beautiful woman has made in my like.
I am deeply grateful and humbled.
If she gets too feeble to walk safely by herself, people will observe
this old man holding onto his sweet wife’s arm as we go along. Until that day, I will not get out of
the car and leave her to catch up with me at the restaurant (or whatever) door. She will not walk 12 steps behind me,
but by my side. I will open the door for her and she will go through
first. Everyone will see us and
recognize that I love her and respect her. That’s just the way it is gong to be. Oh yeah, some guys will smirk and say,
“Well, he’s just henpecked.” The
truth is, I didn’t marry a hen—I married a princess and I will treat her like
one.
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